Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
