My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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