dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
