one two three fourrrrnication!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
