I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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