One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
