Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
