foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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