she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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