Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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