just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
