and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it because I queefed?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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