do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
