Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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