this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Terrible idea I love it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
