i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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