Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
