Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
