just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
