You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
