How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
