How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Never underestimate the power of titties
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
