WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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