Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
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You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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