I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
