So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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