This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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