I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
