i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
