I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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