He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
