No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dignity is for republicans.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
