your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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