That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
