The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
