He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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