therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
