i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
