3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
MIDGETS
????
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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