quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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