So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
