This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
