I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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