Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize