we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i have two assholes
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
