Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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