Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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