I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
