Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
