im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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