WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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