You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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