hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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