wanna go halves on a baby?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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