Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
