there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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