dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
