Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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