ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize