thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Buhtt sex?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
