so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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