if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
