So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
