Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
