Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
