You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
