Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
