Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
50% drunk capacity currently
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The Olympian is in my bed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
